


When He Held Her

by Breakerofthebroken



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Hey its only romance and angst in the same piece what could go wronf, I had to write this, I'm so sorry lol, Love, Murder, Spoilers!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 13:47:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11761191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breakerofthebroken/pseuds/Breakerofthebroken
Summary: Saeran had held her 5 times. And if he knew he only had 5 times, he would've made them last longer.





	When He Held Her

**Author's Note:**

> Angst lol, gotta love it! Enjoy this is just a random thought I had in my head.

The first time he held her was at the ripe age of 17. His life was still in a shit hole but the one time he had managed to escape he found her.

She was crying in an alleyway, completely distraught. For some reason he did not know, but she looked utterly miserable. It reminded him of himself. Broken, tattered, and in need of repairing.

For some reason he felt a pull to comfort her, and that's what he did. He sat down next to the stranger and awkwardly wrapped his arms around her. He wasn't the best at comforting people, let alone strangers, but he wanted to help her. It was a certain feeling that made him feel the need to just, hold her.

When she hugged him back, her sobs shook his body. Her voice came out as a high pitched whine and tears were never ending. He did his best to not flinch with all the contact, he wasn't used to this. But with her, he could find himself relaxing. Which is strange considering he had met her a matter of minutes ago. If you could call it meeting.

Inhaling her scent, he found himself calming down too, until he realized how much time had passed. His mind was racked with what to do. She was still hysterical but he knew if he didn't get home in time her would surely get a beating. Maybe... Maybe its worth it though. To have her in his arms… After calming her down efficiently, he quickly left with no farewells or, any words at all for that matter.

 

The second time he held her was at the apartment. She was his doll, he brought her to the RFA after all.

His beautiful princess. She aged well, as he was 22 now. It had been 5 years, does she even remember him?

He held her flush against his chest, a trigger in one hand, as he stared his twin down.

'Its not fair…' it was a turn of events. His princess was in love with that… that traitor. It wasn't meant to be like this! No… He had to do something about it. 

The alarm interrupted them, he quickly fled the scene, he'll just have to postpone his plans then. He won't give this up. This is the time he won't back down. He's not weak like everyone says he is… he'll prove them wrong! Just wait until they see!

 

The third time he held her was when the traitors were captured. He pulled her aside and enveloped her drugged state. No resistance, well, there was nothing coming from her at all actually. 

He wanted- no needed- her to remember. She had to remember… right? Maybe… if he held her like he did that night so many years ago, she would remember… 

His heart seemed so empty when she didnt hug back. Even with his body pushed up against hers, arms wrapped around her middle, pouring his emotion into this act.

Yet she didn't respond. He wanted so badly to blame the toxins in her system. Oh how he wished he could believe that. But even through his haze, he knew that she did not reciprocate his feelings. After all who could? Look at him! The weak and small twin, Saeran Choi.

Nobody wanted him before Savior. Yet all this time he had eyes set for one female. So many years on keeping tabs on her- just to make sure she was okay- down the drain! Because of the brother that has always taken everything away from him. And now he was taking her. The love of his life.

 

The fourth time he held her was shortly after the third. Except, now it was filled with new emotions. Swarming his very brain. He hadn't meant to… he swears!

His gun was shaking in his hand, soon it fell from his grasp.

"No no no… I'm- I didn't… I'm so sorry.." He was crying. He knew that much, the tears cascading down his cheek like rain were to do with a window.

Running up to her, he out pressure on the wound. Her head was bleeding from the impact of hitting the floor. 

"Please please... Don't leave me too…" The warmth was seeping through his hand. He could feel the life draining from her, the crimson on his hands provide the proof.

How did this happen? His brain was running haywire. He meant for this to be V! The traitor! Not his princess.. Not his sunshine or sun, or whatever he could compare her to.

He sat her up and cried into the crown of her head. Putting more pressure onto the wound to try to stall the bleeding, he ignored the commotion around him.

All that mattered was this perfect, oh so amazing girl in his arms. She looked up at him one last time and smiled. 

He sobbed and buried his head into where her neck and shoulder met. Inhaling her scent one last time, he wanted to memorize it. Ingrain it in his mind. He soon realized that the palm on his cheek fell to his side. Her arm went limp, eyes still open, glazed over.

He let more tears fall from his eyes as he used a free hand to shut her eyelids. 

This shouldn't be happening. No, it wasn't meant to be this way! No…no... He prayed to every God he knew of to just bring her back.

A second chance. 

 

The fifth time he held her was when she was laying peacefully in a elegant coffin. He bent over and gingerly laid his arms around her.

The past few weeks he had been going to rehab and therapy. His brother had helped him try to recover. Try. His mind was only slightly more stable. This was the first time he was allowed to leave.

The guilt wracked at him everyday, and now, she lay here because of him. Lifeless. All because of him. He did this to her. 

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to! Im so so so sorry…" he repeated those words as he leaned back and looked at her resting figure. Even in death she was beautiful.

Her cheeks weren't as rosy as they were in life, but a faux blush invaded her skin. Makeup trying to cover the horrid pale that covered her skin.

But to him, she was perfect. In every way. Her soul was as bright as a innocent being could have. She was so pure, all she wanted was to help these poor people.

But he took that from her.

So for this last time, when he held her, he kissed her chapped lips. A chaste kiss to try to prove, even in death, he would love her. The only one he knew he had unadultered love for. 

And if he knew that there would be 5 times in life where he would hold her, he would've made them last longer.

 

Because at least when he held her, he wasnt so empty.


End file.
